The Happy Dance & the Feels

Friday, March 07, 2014

One of the the things I have learned from my WW spouse support group is that emotions run rampant - and no one family member is exempt.

Today, I had a fantastic day at work. I accomplished something with a client that many on my team, including myself, were beginning to see as impossible. We did it, and it felt fantastic. For the population I work with, this means the difference between homelessness versus secure supportive housing. It's a fantastic feeling.

So when I shared this success with my husband via text, he wrote back that he would do a little happy dance, because that has always been his response. He has a pretty darn cute happy dance, too. Almost as quickly though, I received this response:

"I'm silly, on the verge of tears because I can't happy dance...Stupid emotions...I feel raw."

My husband recently started a medication to address his neuropathy, or nerve pain. With the number of surgeries he has had and the extensive stabilization and fixation that occurred with his heels, he has been experiencing more pain as his body turns some nerves back on. Especially those nerves that are realizing they have been relocated, in layman's terms. It's quite the whirlwind, and it's taking it's toll.

There is so much in this experience of my husband as partially able that lends itself to what many Internet aficionados like to call "the feels." In my last post, I also mentioned how "the feels" have been impacting my life. I'm not so sure that my last post even made terribly much sense, but I think the take-away message for us lately is that we cannot wallow, which has been difficult. So much in this experience lends itself to melancholy, anhedonia, amotivation. That's therapist speak for feeling stuck.

This stuckness is hard, but we are going to get through it. My husband starts pool work next week. It will be the first time he has stood since 12/15/13, almost 3 months after the fall. We are both excited and scared. We are not really sure what comes next.

All I know is that the feels are a natural part of this process, and I try to be as empathic and supportive to him-and myself-as I can be. We just have to keep moving forward, being it by wheel or by limb. We'll get there, one day, and when we do, we'll do a happy dance together.

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